The Missing Piece of Leadership

A while back, one of my clients was let go as CEO of a company because he had not achieved the expected results.  During our coaching session, he told me he thought this situation wouldn't have occurred if he hadn't become stressed and caved to pressure from some members of the board that went against his judgement, experience, and knowledge.

Since then, my client has found a new job. Before starting his new job, he wanted to ensure that something like this would not happen again. In our coaching sessions, he asked me to help him prepare for his new job to avoid this type of situation from being repeated. His question really was: How do I stay true to myself during periods of stress, when so many opinions and information are voiced?

We started by exploring his knowledge about himself and his values. I asked him to write this list down and keep a copy at his desk in his office and tape it to his computer at home. Because when we know ourselves and our values, they can serve as our anchor. A place of knowing and grounding that we can return to during stressful periods. When you know yourself, you can be then authentic with your team, your colleagues, and set the tone of being real, of being authentic in your organization.

When there is pressure to decide, when something unexpected happens, in times of uncertainty and complex situations, anxiety usually grows. Most people tend to react in a way that will reduce the sense of discomfort and urgency as soon as possible. Many times, decisions made in a reactionary way are not authentic and not aligned with who we truly are and what we would have chosen to do if the pressure and anxiety had not been in play.

It takes a great deal of awareness and self-discipline to notice that we are reacting from a place of anxiety and not responding to your core values, knowledge, and experience.

When we do notice that we are hooked on anxiety and are reacting, we can make a choice to be grounded in our authentic selves and remember the bigger vision. From this place of authenticity, we can engage with our team and work together to come to better decisions. 

I see many posts about what is important in leadership. I agree that courage is important, the energy we hold is important, empowering and mentoring employees is important; however, there is always one thing missing for me:  the anchor of self-knowing.  Self-knowing is knowing who you are, what your values are, and what you stand for. When you are grounded in who you are, you are being an authentic leader who earns the trust of their team.